Ch.12

The subject of arranged marriage has been one where my view has changed drastically. I used to think that arranged marriage was stone age and controlling. I was coming from an American view where one must be madly in love with someone before they marry them and that no one should be forced to be with someone they don't already love. THEN, I GOT MARRIED! After four years of marriage I can say that butterflies and fireworks fade over time. To "be in love" is not enough to make a marriage last. There needs to be deep commitment, friendship, strong values, good character, and last of all love. True love encompasses these things but love does not always need to come first. There is no reason someone cannot GROW to love and respect someone.

On a personal note, my dad is not perfect, but now that I am older and wiser, I see my dad's wisdom that he has given to me throughout my life. He has always been able to honestly tell me what would be the best course for me when I ask for advice. I would wholeheartedly trust my dad in picking a mate for me. I believe that he would choose better for me than I would for myself because I do not love myself as he loves me. He thinks MUCH more highly of me then I think of myself. We tend to pick people out of our insecurities and woundedness, we overlook weak character and lack of values because we are "in love". There are people in our lives who love us very much who would not overlook these things in picking a mate for us. I know for my dad that only the best would do, and nothing less. That is why for the most part, I am for arranged marriage. I also hear they have lower divorce rates, which is a good thing.